In March, Two Writing Teachers hosts the Slice of Life Story Challenge. Everyone is welcome to share writing and comment on others in this special community.
I didn't expect the story I got when I checked in. I expected joy. I expected excitement. I expected a gushing recount. The anger, frustration, and tears didn't match the planned experience.
As I listened, I wasn't my best self, and I interrupted.
"Are you sure this wasn't a misunderstanding?"
"Could you wait to borrow so much trouble?"
"You're wasting a lot of anger energy on something you're not sure of."
She assured me she was sure. And now she was even angrier because I didn't validate.
Even as she kept going with the story and the way things went down, it didn't make sense to me. Could a company really gaslight someone so much? The believer-in-humanity part of me wanted to believe that a misunderstanding would explain a deal that was made and then was taken away.
No, she assured me, that's not what's happening.
I guess it turns out, yes, a company can make a deal and take it away.
When we spoke again, I apologized for not just agreeing that the situation sucked. An easy apology because I felt so bad that the situation happened and that I didn't respond with ultra empathy.
And, I'll continue to believe in humanity, but with a little more skepticism. Damn.
And, I'll continue to believe in humanity, but with a little more skepticism. Damn.
I've been there, too! More than once I've wished I had just been quiet and listened without making suggestions, giving advice, or asking if there was another angle to consider. Sounds like it was a crappy situation all around.
ReplyDeleteI love how you wrote about this, including all the inner feelings and wonderings, without the actually details of the event. As the reader, I feel the anger and frustration more, not being distracted by details from the actual event. Need to try writing like this. And sorry this event nudged you toward skeptiscism. I like how your stance was in the beginning - expecting joy and excitement!
ReplyDeleteI can totally feel the awkwardness. I’m glad you were able to make an apology. Many times I react badly and there’s no chance at an apology.
ReplyDeleteFabulous piece! I also enjoyed how the details were not explained because it was more about your feelings. I am still surprised by people every day, often for not so great reasons.
ReplyDeleteThis must have been a hard slice to write and even harder to experience. While I am also a believer in humanity and that good exists everywhere, I do realize that companies, doctors, schools do not always keep their word! It's hardest, I think, when you want it to work out for someone and the situation just does not click. I guess the lesson to us all is that sometimes a simple apology is best served even if you are not sure it is needed?
ReplyDeleteMelanie,
ReplyDeleteI think it’s part human nature and part inherent in the mind of teachers to want to fix a situation, and that carries into other parts of our lives. It’s hard not to speak when we need to listen w/ empathy and await an invitation to respond.
I need you all to be angry FOR me because I need to be less angry if I need to get past this and move on. So thank you for being angry for me :) I appreciate your belief in humanity.
ReplyDeleteMelanie, I understand your frustration and have been involved with deals that changed. I often want others to feel the way I do but that is not realistic. Your comment above is a helpful thought. Maybe the fix it mode does come from teaching. I will have to remember this. Thanks.
ReplyDelete