Throughout the month of March, I am participating in the Slice of Life Story Challenge. I am happy to co-host this event with the team at Two Writing Teachers. Everyone is welcome!
When my two older daughters were 4 and 2-- maybe 5 and 3-- their uncle gave them both gift cards to Toys-R-Us. You would think that would have been a huge it. For Larkin, it was. She went straight to the Polly Pocket aisle, picked out a set, and was ready to head to the register. Julia on the other hand went up and down the aisles. All the aisles. And then needed to go up and down them again. After about a hundred hours, we left the store with Larkin's Polly Pockets and Julia's full-value gift card.
Today, about eighteen years later, I was reminded of this experience. We traumatized Julia by asking her to pick up some coffee pods at the mall. The five ounce ones, we said. Not flavored. Robust. The decision making process reared its ugly head for Julia, as it frequently does, and she sent us a few pictures to make sure she was getting the right one.
Just as Larkin remains true to her toy store tendency of making up her mind and not second-guessing or looking back, Julia weighs options, makes pro-con lists, and interviews anyone she can when faced with a decision. Larkin could face a thousand options, make a selection, and get to work; for her, choices are empowering and inspiring. Choices torment Julia, and the more there are, the more difficult it is for her to get started since she spends so much time in the decision-making part of the process.
What occurred to me as my husband and I were walking and laughing at the pictures we were receiving of coffee pods from Julia, is how I think about choice for students. I have always emphasized the importance of choice, but thinking about my two daughters makes me pause a little. Thinking about it, some of my toughest posts to get started are the ones where I can't decide what to write about, not because I have nothing, but more because I have too much. I wonder about how this plays out for students in writing classrooms. Anyone?
As for Julia and her purchases, she eventually gave me the gift card, and she still gives me many of her gift cards when she receives them as presents. The coffee she picked out was fine!
Happy Slicing,
Love the back story here, and the connection to students in writing. It's a good question: When is choice too much? A high school teacher recently questioned giving kids choice as a positive, and I remember bristling at such a comment. But maybe, for some kids, choice can become an obstacle of sorts? I wonder if we should just ask kids sometimes-- "Hey, how would you work best?" It's probably a good question to begin, maybe?
ReplyDeleteYes, for some kids that idea of choice is hard. I'm still reminding my 23 y.o. that there are ranges of choices, not right and wrong ones. She had plenty of opportunities for choice in her formative years, but it's still hard for her to decide.
ReplyDeleteThis gives me so much pause. One way I have come to assist students and teachers is to provide a menu. It seems less like telling someone what to do and less like free range. I am wondering if offering a more open “choose away” and then say”stay back if you need a little help deciding”.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, you just described my two older daughters! The oldest is a decision maker and the middle, well, let's just say, as you said, she likes to weigh all her options. The college process this upcoming year is going to be vastly different than it was with Hannah! You've of course left me thinking about the choices and invitations I offer students and do I follow up the choices with necessary conversations to help the child make the choice! Thanks so much for sharing! OH and Polly Pockets :)
ReplyDeleteSo true! I do think many are overwhelmed with too much choice. I like to talk in "pop-up" menus (you could do this/you could do this etc) I can make sure my options are open ended and varied, but I do think it helps. Even the notion of saying no to an option is the first step in making a choice. So much to think about here... thanks for sharing (and I Iove the description of your girls!)
ReplyDeleteThis rings so true and makes me remember a visit more than thirty years ago with my son. He had walked every aisle just as Julia did, FINALLY decided what to buy with HIS money, unwrapped the toy in the parking lot and was crying by the time we got to the car, regretting his decision. I love how you linked your story to the classroom and offering choice. By the way, I'm a Julia.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good question to ponder and consider as we think about the things that might get in the way for some students. I enjoyed the backstory. I can see similarities in my two oldest daughters...
ReplyDeleteThis is a familiar dilemma for me. I do have Kindergarteners who would much rather be told what to write about. They sit perplexed and tortured forever if they have to come up with something. I've started collecting resources to support their decision making -- photographs, greeting card pictures, etc... Funny how we are all wired differently.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this reflection. Choice can be overwhelming for some. Decision-making takes lots of practice. I talk about decision-making as key skill in playing team sports. You are constantly faced with quick series of decisions that need to be made which is why 10,000 hours of practice helps reduce the cognitive load by making certain reaction patterns routine. In the classroom, I can imagine some kids need limits around their choices in order to assist their process. I'm really glad I stumbled onto this post today. Something to consider when I am in the gym with my students tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it so interesting that your daughters are so different in things like choice?
ReplyDeleteI also have students who like to be told what to do... Although I fear that sometimes it comes from "I don't really care about this and just would like to get this done as fast as I can..."
I have found the most success with limited choice (though I cringe when I type that), although it depends so much on the situation/task/student and students know that they can always suggest something...
I like the comparison between your daughters and how not much has changed over the years in making choices for them both. I am sure our students can range all the way across this spectrum from no idea to too many ideas and it is quite difficult to prompt those with more limited ideas, while giving focus to those who can't choose out of all their possibilities.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder of how different our students can be!
There are some psychological studies out there that show that more choices than we can handle actually cause unhappiness...along with choice, humans love a clear direction!
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