Celebrating Mother's Day by Celebrating Our Daughter and Her Friends

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I have never been a big fan of Mother's Day--my first teaching job, well before my first mothering job, was at a residential school for children whose mothering had been mostly either non-existent or torturous. Our highest rate of restraints was always the week before Mother's Day. It's a day that sells a lot of cards but causes so much pain to so many people...

When my daughter asked if she could invite friends for a post prom party to our house in Rhode Island on Mother's Day, it never occurred to me to say no--that's my day. Some of my friends were surprised that I chose to spend Mother's Day making sure that a bunch of 18 year-olds stayed happy and safe, but I have to say it was like a Capstone mothering experience.

• They were fun. They jumped in the ocean on mutual dares from each other. (I think that the water might have been 60, but it might not have been even that warm.) They played kadima and chased tennis balls and built sand castles and threw frisbees. It was nice to see a bunch of adult-sized bodies act like little kids. (No, my husband and I did NOT stay with them at the beach, but we did go for a walk and passed them.)
• They were polite. They said thank you and please. They brought in their plates and their garbage, and they offered to help without ever being asked. Some of them even saw what needed to be done and did it. 
• They were kind. They complimented our younger daughter Clare, who had come along to help out. While she spent most of her time with me and my husband, which was a wonderful Mother's Day gift, she served as their photographer, a perfect role for her. They were completely inclusive of each other. They snuggled, played, laughed, and cheered from each other.

All of the mothering milestones come up fast and furious. Not long ago, I struggled to take my girls to the beach, trying to figure out diapers and bottles and teaching toddlers to beware of rogue waves, and smothering sunscreen on to writhing bodies. Beach life got easier as we moved on to building elaborate castles and tunnels, coaching children to duck and dive waves, searching for sea glass and treasures, and packing picnics that would extend our beach days. 

How great it was to see our oldest daughter share all of those memories and experiences with her friends who loved the beach, their day, and each other! What a great Mother's Day I had watching so much joy!

I'm Wondering About Over-Compliance

Today could be counted as the 32nd day of slicing, but it's also time for the weekly slice of life on Tuesdays. The weekly Slice of Life is hosted by twowritingteachers.wordpress.com. Everyone is welcome to join in the writing and the commenting. 

I have been saving this post, but after hearing about the SBAC debacle that went on in my daughters' high school yesterday, this post is inspired by the picture that I took last week of an unlucky computer.

Our principal is holding this laptop which is on its way to the garbage, having been the recipient of a stressed out student's regurgitated lunch. Initially, there was a huge debate over what to do with the computer, but alas, there is no easy way to clean that sort of mess out of a keyboard.

 Yesterday, there were problems with the SBAC platform. No one could exactly explain the issues, but the pronoun "they" was prevalent. I have begun to wonder who "they" are. "They" have created these tests, "they" have developed the platform, "they" are administering this field test so that "they" can calibrate the test (which is another post, because isn't is a standards-based test and doesn't calibrating a test imply a norm-referenced test? Just wondering...), and "they" have established an incredibly complex protocol for teachers and set of directions for students.

Before I continue, I should say that I fully support the Common Core State Standards and their intent. That being said, the administration of the test to ensure that schools are teaching them has me scratching my head. Yesterday, my high school senior had only two hours of school, my high school freshman watched a movie for 2 1/2 hours that they did not discuss, and my high school sophomore sat and drew her name in elaborate designs for two hours while the SBAC did not load. She was not sure what the other 150 sophomores did during this time while their tests did not load. Today went a little differently. My oldest went to school at 10, instead of 11, my youngest watched another movie and at least was asked to fill out a worksheet about it (sarcasm is dripping here), and my middle daughter was chastised by her friends because she wrote an essay, as opposed to writing strings of random letters, which most of them discovered would get them quickly through the test.

Tonight, we had a family discussion about compliance, as I'm not sure that I disagree with her consonant-stringing friends. If we were all in Stanley Milgram's obedience to authority experiment right now, how high would the voltage be? I'm wondering.

Thanks for listening,

Day #31 of 31: Thank you to so many!

Stacey, Tara, Dana, Betsy, Anna, and Beth of twowritingteachers.wordpress.com--you have done an incredible job of inspiring so many writers throughout this month! Thank you so much!

I can't remember if I struggled to think of what to write during the 2013 Challenge, but I have to say, this year, I never felt like I had a shortage of writing materials. Last year, I wrote several memoirs and vignettes about my dad. This year, I focused more on the here and now. I have had several highlights over the last 31 days that I will share:

• Writing about the here and now for 31 days has made me focus on the here and the now. I have spent my days paying close attention to conversations, events, learning opportunities, sensory details, and working hard to remember them. I have loved this heightened sense of awareness that daily writing has given me for the month of March.
• Sharing some of the daily events of life led to a community of people who knew where I was, and thereby an in-person meeting with Jaana, a fellow slicer. If you ever get to meet slicers in person, don't hesitate. We have much more in common with each other than just slicing for 31 days in a row!
• Reconnecting on an almost daily basis with bloggers I "met" last year. Even though I have continued to read weekly posts from Elsie, Linda, Tara, Catherine, Jaana, Stacey, and Alan, it feels different when I'm reading about their lives every day. I wish that I'd had more time to reconnect with others, and I will try to do better next year!
• Getting to know some of the new slicers whose blogs I checked and read every day. I was so excited when Loralee and Priscilla were highlighted for special posts that they wrote, and Kristine, Alyson, Beth, Meg, and Crystal were wonderful posters to follow and cheer on--hooray for all of you! Holly wasn't one of official new slicers, but I loved reading about her family all month long! I hope she keeps sharing farm adventures on a weekly basis! Some of my newbies fell off the slicing wagon, and I hope that they come back next year. 
• Partnering with my daughter, Larkin, who also came back to slice every day for a second year. I was so proud of her for making this commitment and sticking with it during March of her senior year in high school. It was fun for me to read her insights and highlights of her life for a month! I'm hoping that one of my other daughters will join me next year, as well as Larkin!
• Internalizing and reflecting about the writing tips and mentor posts that Stacey shared throughout the month. I loved working on repetition and patterns, conversations, perspectives, surprises, and words and their reactions.

I am so grateful for the support, encouragement, comments, compliments and sharing that has gone on in this community. The audience sense of mission, and  community spirit made this a powerful learning experience during a busy and stressful month. Writing and commenting have been tasks that I've looked forward to and that I know I will miss.

Here's to the 2015 SOLC!

Living Life Closely Through Daily Writing

Approaching the end of the 2014 SOLC, as it is Day 30 of 31. So happy to have been a part of this wonderful community hosted by twowritingteachers.wordpress.com.

I'm writing late tonight, as I have been in New York City for the weekend, and I've been struggling with the second-to-last-day syndrome. This has been a wonderful month of paying close attention to my life, and making decisions about what to share with the wider slicing world. 

While I made daily decisions about these shares, I have not shared my daily decisions with many of the people I see. My daughter, Larkin, has been writing for the month, and she and I share posts, but the rest of my family hasn't paid close attention--if I tell them about a post, then they go find it and read it, but mostly, it's been Mom's and Larkin's crazy writing thing. Most of my professional colleagues have been swamped enough with other issues and school priorities that they have not asked much about the March challenge when I've mentioned it, and I just haven't talked about it with friends.

Because I spent the entire two days with three women I love and writing has been so important to me all month, I found myself sharing about the experience and because we weren't working or paying attention to our children or multi-tasking--we were actually spending time sitting and paying attention to each other--they asked me questions about the March SOLC.

What I shared, and what I realized as a reflection of sharing, is how much more I notice when I am writing and reading other posts every day. Reading other posts has inspired me to think about daily experiences in different ways. I have found myself composing strings of words inside of my head, looking for signs of spring, studying people and wondering about them, even imagining the thoughts and lives of the animals around me. I collected more keepsakes, took more pictures, and listened more closely to the lives and stories within and around my world. Over the last thirty days, I have savored more, and then savored it again as I wrote, and then savored yet again as people commented.

My friends were impressed with the commitment and discipline that we have all had to our writing throughout the month. Thank you to all of you for the inspiration, encouragement, and writing friendship during my second challenge!

Until tomorrow!

Day #26: Look out World--Another Meehan Driver is on the Road

So grateful for the community of writers at twowritingteachers.wordpress.com. Happy Day #26!

It's been a long day, but a day of milestones. I just walked in to see my youngest daughter's new set of blue and green braces, having been at the DMV with my second daughter to get her driving permit.

Julia was far from pleasant before her driving permit test. Knowing her as I do, I know that when she is nervous, she is not her best self. I know, I know, not many people are, but some people are able to admit this and Julia is still working on this skill.

When her younger sister wanted a bite of the brownie I had just bought for her, she sneered.

"We got you your own cake pop," she said. "The brownie is mine."

"You could share both," I suggested.

She rolled her eyes and ignored me.

(She only ate half of the brownie and Cecily moved right in for the other half when Julia left the kitchen.)

When I told her that my bank statement would suffice as proof of her address, she argued.

"It has to be my name," she said. "I'm bringing one of the college brochures."

"Fine," I said. "Let's bring both."

(The DMV lady wanted my bank statement.)

When I called to her, asking her if she was ready, she snapped.

"I heard you," she yelled. "I just have to finish studying."

"You can keep looking over the questions in the car, but I'd rather be early," I said.

(We arrived 15 minutes early and they took us right in--yes, you read that correctly!)

Julia passed her test and was giddy, a state of being that rarely happens for this daughter! She took several selfies on the way home and gleefully put them up on instagram and whatever other social networks she is using to announce her news.

I got up all my courage and had her drive the mile of back road from the main road to our driveway. We have some serious work to do, but she does look cute sitting in that driver's seat.


Drive safely,

Day #25: Some Challenges of Motherhood

Happy to be part of the Slice of Life Challenge hosted by twowritingteachers.wordpress.com. Day #25!


Just when I think that I have this motherhood thing going along pretty well, someone serves me up a piece of humble pie.

I have asked my daughter, Julia, a few times about her application for a summer program and she has reassured me that she had it "under control." Until last night. Last night, that would be March 23rd, she informed me that the application had been due on March 21st.

"You're going to be mad, Mom," she had said.

I tried not to be as mad as I really wanted to be. Mostly, my madness was coming out of a place of disappointment for her. She had worked so hard on the essay and the program would have been so good for her. Oh, and, it is free to the selected students...it's a free hiking and leadership program through Colorado mountains. Oh well.

"I will email the lady tomorrow and see if I can still send in my application," Julia said.

I don't think so, but she can try.

This morning as I drove Julia and Clare to school, I brought up summer plans again. Julia flicked through her instagram pictures and barely responded to any of my questions or suggestions. My blood was heating up as I was spouting out life's greatest advice to her and she was more interested in selfies of peripheral friends.

 Note to self: do not try to engage daughter #2 in any kind of meaningful discussion before 9 in the morning.

Another note to self: make sure that anxiety is not getting the best of you. Anxiety leads to anger. Quickly.

And another reminder to self: your one little word for 2014 is kindness. Kindness. KINDNESS!!!

I did not manage to evoke any sort of summer plans for Julia in the 10 minute car ride, but I did avoid mother/daughter disaster by saying something along the lines of not being mad and just being interested in helping her figure out a great summer. It definitely helped to change the topic and analyze who is in the best position to win the family March Madness pool, since her bracket is in the best shape at this point.

Clare caught on and winked at me in the rear-view mirror.

I love those girls.

Day #23: Spring Showed up for the Day

Happy to be slicing with the community of twowritingteacher.wordpress.com!

There have been many posts about spring this year, maybe because it's been so elusive. Spring was here yesterday and here's how I enjoyed it:

• I wore flats without socks.
• My nephews were here as they headed home to Florida from their Vermont vacation. We had a snowball fight in t-shirts. We also took pictures on the bench. This will make you laugh: they wanted to know where all the trees were since they have only ever visited before during the summer and right now, the trees are bare.
• We took the dog on a long walk, avoiding the mud whenever possible, but enjoying watching him walking ahead of us with his tail held high.
• We grilled hamburgers for lunch and served them with fresh salad, chips, and pineapple. It was like a summer picnic.
• I took my car through the carwash and I didn't wince when I approached it in the parking lot later in the day.
• I cheered Garth on as he cleaned out the garage which has been full of winter silt, clutter, and general acquisitions.

Today, it is supposed to be cold again. We even have snow in the forecast for the middle of the week. One of these days, there's bound to me a more consistent welcome to the intrepid snowdrops and crocuses that have been peeking through.

I'm ready.

Happy Day #23,