On Tuesdays, I write slices of stories from my week! All are welcome! Join us at Two Writing Teachers!
For months, we've been waiting for the new Whole Foods to open, and Garth and I arrived at the new and finally open store, excited and hungry.
With some out of town guests expected the following day, I headed to the cheese section. Sticker shock is a regular reality at Whole Foods, but I was ready to splurge. After all, we were celebrating a new store opening, having guests, and not going out to dinner, which costs a whole lot more than any cheese possibly could.
As I perused the cheeses, resisting the urge to touch them unless I was sure I was going to purchase them, I watched a woman who was also involved in the cheese-deciding process. I didn't mean to stare, but I stepped back to allow her space to make her selections before I made mine. She picked up a cheese, turned it over in her palm, looked at it closely, then returned it. I was relieved that it wasn't one I was interested in at all. These days, who wants to buy a cheese that someone else has touched? She picked up another one and again went through her process. I made a mental note to avoid that particular one. And then... she picked up a cheese, looked at it closely, and tried to smell it through her nose-covering bandana (not a mask-- a bandana). I guess she couldn't smell it enough so she pulled the bandana down, brought the cheese right up to her nose, sniffed it, and then returned it to the shelf.
Maybe guilt inspired her to turn and look at me. Maybe my wide eyes magnetized her. In any case, a single "Really?" slipped out of my mouth. Really?!?!?
There was a lot more I wanted to say. Don't sniff the cheese until you're buying it. Or better yet, until you've bought it. Or better yet, when you're home and about to eat it on a cracker!!!! I've developed a phobia over the last eighteen months and I don't want your nose anywhere close to anything I'm going to touch and eventually consume!
"What?" she snarled back at me. (My one word, really, had been out loud...)
I decided to take a break from selecting cheeses and headed to the olive oil aisle without any further interaction with the bandana lady who liked to sniff cheeses.
Consider this a PSA if you share any of my phobic tendency, and choose your cheese from the far back or extra high shelf!
All I can say is "Cheese, no like it!" That's from my 2 yr old grandson who doesn't want to smile cheese for the camera, but it seemed an appropriate reaction here. Yuck! Thanks for the turn of stomach (Not!) so early in the morning.
ReplyDeleteOMG....that was funny! I love that the "REALLY?" escaped. This was written with such voice and so clever. Hope you got some non-smelled cheese and had fun with your guests!
ReplyDeleteWhat a carefully crafted slice -- the moment of watching bandana lady pick up and sniff each cheese all while your frustration elevates is captured brilliantly! I do hope you were able to get not only your olive oil, but your cheese eventually!
ReplyDeleteI hope you were able to secure a cheese that remained untouched and unsniffed. Your "Really?" escaping is understandable and perhaps for a moment, gave the bandana lady pause at another juncture in her shopping pursuits. One can only hope.
ReplyDeleteReading your story made me cringe and then laugh. I share your phobia after the last 18 months. (To be honest, it existed long before the pandemic, but I think it was sort of normalized haha.) I also love cheese, and would have been slightly bummed not to splurge on some fancy, delicious cheese. However, when you headed to the olive oil aisle I imagined dipping bread in that with some balsamic.
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