Throughout the month of March, I am participating in the annual Slice of Life Story Challenge, an event hosted by the team at Two Writing Teachers. Every day in March, I will share a story and comment on the stories of other participants. Please join us in writing, sharing, reading, and commenting!
Day 6 of physical therapy is in the books today. I'm guessing that many of you who are reading this have gone through some PT at one point or another, so you may know that it's not always easy. In fact, it's rarely easy.
I started with heat which sounds lovely, but it's there to prep my knee for bending, which, after a knee replacement, doesn't happen easily. From there, it was massage time. Another experience with positive connotations... except when muscles are coming back to life after a period of dormancy, they're angry, and they actually jump around with not-so-deep massaging. I've become familiar with Kate's quite "Mm-hmmm" when my leg twitches or jerks involuntarily. And then a checklist of strength exercises, stretching, squatting, stepping, biking, and backwards treadmill walking...
I'm not sure how far along I was with the session when Kate and I locked eyes, and I might have looked--- I don't know-- frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, sad? The logical part of me knows I'm better each day and the logical part of me knows I'm going to feel better and stronger than I've felt in years--- maybe in my life-- and the logical part of me knows this is exactly how I expected things to be and feel... but there's an illogical whisperer too. Maybe that whisperer is a special friend of my tendency toward insecure overachievement, a term I've learned this month through slice reading.
"You're doing great," Kate said.
And tears popped out.
I blinked and wiped them away and maybe she didn't even notice. And if she did, it's okay. Those moments happen along this healing process.
Kate saw you. I had a moment of being seen this week and it also brought tears. It made me think that I’m usually working so hard to be the see-er. See-ers need to be seen too. I can tell just from your writing that you’re getting stronger every day. I’m proud of you! I know you’re also a doer! ❤️Jess
ReplyDeleteHealing is a complicated process. I'm so glad that your PT is tuned in to what you need, and not just physically. I like what Jess said "See-ers need to be seen, too!" Hoping your healing continues to go smoothly!
ReplyDeleteThe illogical whisper can be awfully loud. One kind comment was held it away! Stay in tune with that logical and hard working and hopeful, positive self and you’ll be jumping around like a youngin’ before you know it! dawn
ReplyDeleteTears are healthy. You are resilient. Your on the path of healing. This makes you much stronger than many other people on ordinary days.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the vulnerability in your post. I think everyone can relate to the conflict between what they know to be true logically and what they believe to be true. I know I've been there! Yes, your logical thinking is right, you will be stronger because of this. But in the interim, you are doing better than you think you are doing, simply because you are doing it and that's enough!
ReplyDeleteKate sounds great! Sometimes all we need is a little encouragement. As someone who has gone through PT, it's not easy, but you will come out the other side!
ReplyDeleteI think Kate probably loves those moments. And it takes a good PT to know when to encourage, when to break, when to push! You're doing great.
ReplyDeleteRecovering is hard, but having people who support and beleive in you makes it just a bit better!
ReplyDeleteFeeling seen in this slice. You write with vulnerability and resilience; your craft shines in wordplay. From “illogical whisperer” to “insecure overachievement”, I feel the weight of your words. Everybody needs a Kate in their lives. Thank you for sharing, and well wishes in your recovery, Melanie.
ReplyDeleteIt's powerful to center this slice around those simple words from Kate. You managed to express your frustration and "stuck" feelings, yet end with a positive. Keep doing your exercises!
ReplyDeleteOh, good for Kate! "You're doing great." A little rhyming in your recovery. This is not good for life, our little "illogical whisperer" I'm glad you are listening to the logical voices.
ReplyDeleteYou captured a small moment that holds so much more weight in the pathway toward healing and being a chronic overachiever. You're doing great, and recovery can really test you mentally when you don't feel like the overachiever that you are.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
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